a heart born free........

to where the mind roams free ......fire n air ....fanning each others desires...the spark was spontaneous is an understatement...it began with a bang ...and the big bang theory which kicked off the milky way also states that matter was splashed away to create our universe ..while all other galaxies faded away leaving our little world drifting .....blissfully alone ...pristine ....this was our world ....born in the womb of uncertainty ,lack of passion and a bond grown weak.... the heart throbbed to survive...gasping for air in the form of recognition redemption acknowledgement not necessarily appreciation...was like a newborn gasping to emerge from the amniotic fluid that had protected only to encage....a heart born free.....it found me ...the air...the source of life...of sustenance.....idealism gave way to reality..creativity found a source of undiluted inspiration...ideas like pieces fell into the jigsaw puzzle....expectations formed the first part .....the bigger picture followed.....two diamensional initially.... the fire and air consumed all within to engulf ..to search for the third diamension..to meet....a rendezvous...clandestine...where the beauty innocuously conquered the beast......oo so hard for reality to measure up to expectation and its standards.......appreciation was love for one and acceptance was the binding force for the other......time for once was a bystander,silent waiting in rage for the disregard shown by the two hearts on fire.......words turned magical,the bond magnetic,flaws were discovered and discarded as realism faded into idealism ...dust to dust ashes to ashes.....the game between reality and idealism....all time favourite of time itself.......yet all was not as apparent to the naked eye... ..for the rate of consumption of air was far beyond its rate of supply...creating a mini vaccum in the heart of the burning fire...a vaccum which like a small black hole sucked in the environ..atleast it challenged to......a stray wind from the horizon swept across...splitting the fire into two...flames burning seperately...strongly ...independently....much to utter confusion....dismay of change.....is this possible ...one heart fanning two flames with equal intensity while the earth stood below silently watching the dance of death of one realtionship after another...........one decided to break free before total annihilation....guilty of having started a fission reaction which threatened every existing marital,maternal bond in sight.. a reaction which had gone beyond the control limits........the new born heart had grown more rapidly than its own expectation..outgrowing everything in its vicinity..........its nature unfolded...disclosed....scary to its own being....craving for a violent end ...surprisingly dreaming for it..yearning for it ......the motive thus supplied for rejecting the safer and embracing the dangerous......a bang yet again ...this little world split wide open...and i saw a glimse of the heart born free dissappear...at the speed of light ..moving further..and further away till the horizon could stretch no more ...lost in time .....for good.....an untamed heart now and forever cursed and blessed together......

To Monks and Ferraris ......

to where the mind roams free ......going home for a week is still better than not having gone at all for all the things the trip did to me and i cannot articulate or give form to .... my apologies the only tangible achievement stands out to be a book read in transit.."The monk who sold his Ferrari"

the year that just fades into memory is irrepressible by sheer multitudes of its ups and downs...quite non chalantly at last i am able to hold on to this statement as now in perspective it my career was there to support me when my personal front had fallen into an abyss.....where i was faced with Death of a loved one staring back and waiting for me to blink to the euphoria of having confronted fears and defeated them.The book talks about a professional who discovers post a trip down the Himalayan ranges that our desires for conveniences in life blind us to the inconviniences that they cause once acquired......he chooses to let go of them much in contrary to my own decision last year where i desperately clung on to my professional world... but yes i guess both of us chose to do what we thought was best ....it was a short trip where my 14 month old Niece demanded i become a toddler and regret the moment i laid eyes on her that the vacation had been longer...i purged my soul in the days spent .........rolling over soft white pillows almost as big as her,hiding among them ,tossing screaming bringing down the roof literally.....The path the journey the walk the trip was my treasure...my path of diamonds

As for the present am back in the concrete jungle ..not empty handed though ..i carry an indellible snapshot of the moment She emerged from a pile of 8 pilows and blessed me with her toothless grin........my shot in the arm for a long time ahead